Sex and Death in Television Town Read online

  An axe is thrown from across the room and chops deep into his shoulder. He can’t move his gun arm with the axe in there, so he pushes it out with his bloody stump. The axe falls out of his shoulder, but it takes his good arm with it.

  Standing there, armless, in the circle of Telosians. Death gets angry. He yells at the top of his lungs as the tele- vision people close in on him.

  But he doesn’t give in. He directs his anger into his legs and kicks Little Rascals Face in the chest. His foot goes all the way through his body.

  The Telosians pause.

  They examine Death’s leg and find the Little Rascals Face’s heart is smeared across the bottom of his boot.

  The Telosian drops to the metal floor.

  Jesus screams again and knocks a television set off of one of their necks. Kicks another through the stomach. Breaks two of their faces.

  One of the two-man drills swings at him from behind, and slices through both of his legs. They cut through at the thighs and he folds in half.

  The Telosians cheer at his limbless body, but their cheers are cut short as Death grabs the furry pistol with his teeth and fires at them with his tongue. His torso leaps off of the ground and flips through the air at them, spraying holes into them.

  Until his torso is impaled onto an enormous drill that poking through one of the walls. He looks over his shoulder, clinging desperately to the furry pistol in his mouth, and sees Emergency Broadcast System Face enter the mill, carrying his bible.

  Death’s eyes roll into the back of his head as he inches down the shaft of the drill.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  The last dozen Telosians, led by Emergency Broadcast System Face, march up behind Oxy.

  He’s still watching television. His eyes are wide open and bloodshot. A big clown smile is frozen on his face as he sits three inches away from his wife’s screen while it plays “Road House” starring Patrick Fucking Swayze.

  The Telosian girl switches her channel to Mork and Mindy, snapping Oxy out of his trance. He hears Emergency Broadcast System Face and stands up.

  Looking around the room, he notices that he’s the only one left. All his friends are dead. He giggles at the idea.

  He picks up his wife and hugs her close to him as the mob moves in, their weapons raised over their heads.

  Oxy chuckles, then waves them goodbye.

  Before they’re able to strike, Oxy drops down into Sharp’s forest skin with a wide smile across his face, pulling his Telosian bride down in there with him.

  Emergency Broadcast System Face steps towards the headless body-shaped forest and looks down into it.

  Holes open up on his chest and he drops to the floor.

  The other Telosians scowl at his dead body with their Twilight Zone faces, then turn around to see Death stuck to the drill on the wall. He’s regained consciousness, the fuzzy gun aimed at them from his mouth.

  Bullets tear through them before they can jump for cover.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Cry is still alive.

  She’s outside staggering after the surviving wounded Telosians like a zombie. The young man is no longer attached to her back, but his drill is still inside of her collarbone.

  When she catches them she wrestles their weapons away and then fucks them to death.

  Nixx watches her from his crucified position. He is also still alive. Just barely. Most of his skin is missing from his body. Most of his body parts are missing.

  His intestines have spilled out of his belly. Some of them caught on the barbed wire, some of them in the mud. Bugs are getting into them. The sun is drying them out like beef jerky.

  Cry doesn’t cut him down. Busy raping and killing. She warps her legs around a man’s neck and grinds her cunt against his voice box until he suffocates to death.

  Then she catches another Telosian and forces him to give her oral sex with his television tongue. It gets him excited enough for her to fuck him. While she’s pumping him, the drill bouncing in her chest, she breaks open the box of his television face. She takes it apart piece by piece until his bloody human head is exposed, gasping for life. Before he’s able to die, she fucks his face, forces him to give her oral again. And he dies in her crotch just when she reaches orgasm, crushing his skull between her thighs.

  The last Telosian she can find is crawling through the desert, riddled with holes. She flips him over on his back and sits on him like a saddle.

  But she doesn’t rape him. She’s too tired.

  Instead, she watches the pictures moving on his face. It is a Japanese movie about a man covered in metal, coming after a woman with a drill for a penis.

  For the first time, television has got Cry’s attention.

  She lies down on top of him and rests her chin on the edge of his head, thoroughly enjoying his program.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  It is not black and white where Oxy has gone. His new world is full color.

  But he doesn’t seem to notice. He’s in too much pain. Lying in the wet forest with a broken leg and his wife’s smoking face in his lap.

  She didn’t survive the fall. Her head cracked open against a tree on the way down.

  Oxy cries out at this forest world within Sharp, for taking his beloved away from him. It echoes out of Sharp’s skin and fills the color mill.

  He holds her body tight to him and curses himself. He wishes it would have been his head that cracked open against the tree. Not his love’s.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  Nixx opens his eyes to Cry sitting cross-legged before him. “Is this what you saw?” Nixx asks, his voice crusty and weak. “When you saw my death, did you know I would die this way?”

  She lowers her eyes.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he says. “You should have known I wouldn’t want to die like this. I would rather have killed myself before getting captured. How could you let me suffer for so many hours?”

  She licks her chin at him.

  “I’m sorry,” she says. “I was just teasing you before. I had no idea how you were going to die. I just wanted you to live your life to the fullest with me.”

  He wheezes at her and smiles. The smile cracks the skinless tissue that has scabbed across his face.

  “Kill me,” he says. “It’s taking forever for me to die.”

  Cry doesn’t answer him. They both know she owes it to him. She pulls the drill out of her back and climbs his body using the barbed wire as a ladder.

  He dies before she gets a chance to drill a hole through his heart, but she does it anyway, for him.

  She kisses him on the cheek and closes his crunchy eyelids.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Cry finds Death alone in the color mill, gazing proudly over a job well done.

  “You’re a wreck,” Cry says to his limbless body.

  He’s managed to wiggle himself off of the drill in the wall and now lies upright in a pile of corpses.

  “Oh, I’ll be fine,” Death says. “You’ve been completely dismembered,” Cry says. “Not completely,” he replies. She notices a bulge rising in his pants and a big smile

  flashes across her face. He chuckles out of the side of his mouth at her.

  She claps her hands together and mounts him.

  Fucking on top of televisions and dead flesh:

  “We’ve killed the whole town,” Cry says, twirling her hair and staring off into space. “We’ll have to find another one.”

  Jesus finds it difficult to fuck her without any arms or legs.

  She casually bounces on top of him. “We make a good team.”

  “We should work together more often,” he says.

  “Heck yeah!” she says like a cheerleader.

  She leans in and starts pounding him hard.

  “The world is our play thing,” she whispers into his ear.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Oxy finishes burying his wife and creates a heart out of stones on the top of her grave. He kisses the center of
the heart and wipes a tear from his eye.

  He limps through the forest for hours, not sure if he’s in a real world or just Sharp’s clothes. Eventually he comes to a road and follows it north. There are signs at a conjunction that explain where the roads are going. The sign that points east reads “Gneirwil.” The sign that points south reads “Telos.” And the sign that points north reads “Dargoth Castle.”

  He decides to go east.

  While limping down the dirt road, he twists some crunchies out of a sideburn and smells his fingers.

  They smell like vagina. He knows what vaginas smell like. He has one himself. But he doesn’t usually rub his sideburns after he masturbates it.

  He tastes his fingers and nods. It’s vagina alright. But not his...

  His mind gets dizzy and then everything goes black.

  A vision appears in his head. He sees Cry and Jesus in the not too distant future. Jesus is just a torso and Cry pushes him in a wheelbarrow. They are traveling west, away

  from Telos towards the end of the world. They discover there are more towns out that way, civilizations and peoples that are even stranger than the Telosians.

  He sees them laughing and happy, smiling with glee in these new lands.

  There are more places that will be able to experience their beauty.

  More people that are in dire need of sex and death.

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