Sex and Death in Television Town Read online

  The fields are no longer filled with babies, but old men and women. They stand silent and crouched over in the moonlit desert.

  Sharp picks up a stone and runs through the field smashing the elderly. They don’t flinch or utter a word as they explode with juicy sweet redness. Sharp screams at them, pops their heads off, kicks their stomachs in.

  In a blind rage that echoes in the night.

  CHAPTER ONE

  A glittery silver morning.

  The demons did not attack last night. Sharp awakes covered in sticky elderly fruit juice and sludge and fruit flies, in the middle of a field of pianos. The baby/people/fruit fields have rotted away and in their place are hundreds of grand pianos, evenly placed six feet apart from each other across the landscape, into the horizon.

  Sharp doesn’t remember falling asleep here. She must have exhausted herself and passed out on the spot. Just as Random did the night before.

  Stepping through the maze of pianos, she hears one of them being played very poorly in the distance near the town. The song is disturbing to Sharp. The tune is being played in perfect rhythm, but it is lacking in composition. It is simplistic, emotionless, and ugly to the ears. Getting closer, she notices a man with his shirt off, in front of a piano. She figures it is Random, because it definitely cannot be Jesus or Oxy.

  But, no, on closer inspection she discovers it is Nixx. He is not dead anymore, not wearing any green paint, and he wears only pants and a bandage for the bullet wound on his chest.

  “I thought you were dead?” Sharp asks upon arrival.

  Nixx stops piano-playing and shakes his head. “I woke up in a pool of blood, all alone.”

  Sharp notices his bandage has been wrapped very precisely around his torso and shoulder. He is extremely clean. Sterilized.

  “What happened here?” she asks, looking at the pianos.

  “The Telosians told Jesus that there is a different landscape for every day of the week. What day is it? Monday? I guess it’s a piano landscape every Monday. A baby landscape every Sunday. God knows what there’ll be tomorrow.”

  Nixx goes back to playing piano. He concentrates really hard to hit each key in perfect timing, placing a perfectly even amount of finger-weight on the keys every time, his fingers raising at just the right height between notes. But his mind is so occupied with his finger movements and calculations that he can’t pay attention to the music. It just sounds mechanical, eerie.

  “Have you played a piano before?” Sharp asks, snotty-voiced.

  Nixx shakes his head, his tongue on the side of his mouth for concentration. “I don’t have the time to learn how to play, but I need to create something right now. I’d rather create something horrible than die knowing I never created anything at all.”

  Sharp nods and leaves him alone. The piano music is unnerving and sleeping in the dirt has given her a headache.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Sharp meets Random near the edge of town. He is handcuffing a Telosian farmer’s daughter.

  “What are you doing?” Sharp asks. He points at a badge on his chest. “I’ve been deputized.”

  “By who?”

  “Cry,” he spits and flexes minuscule muscles. “She’s the sheriff now. She told me that all the young women in town have committed horrible crimes and must be arrested immediately.”

  “What crimes?”

  “I don’t know,” he says. “She wouldn’t tell me. I’m only the deputy.”

  Sharp follows Random and his young Telosian prisoner with a children’s game show on her face.

  “So which side are you going to be on?” Random asks her.

  Sharp says, “What do you mean?”

  “You didn’t know? Jesus and Cry have cut the town in half. Cry has claimed the western side of town and Jesus took the east.”

  “What for?” Sharp asks.

  “They each want to be boss of the town,” he says. “But they don’t want to share. They divided it in half and Nixx says it won’t be too long before there’s a war between the two factions. You should pick a side.”

  “What side are the others on?”

  “I’m with Cry. Oxy is with Jesus. Stupid Nixx refuses to take sides. You should join Cry’s team. She promises to have sex with everyone who joins her.”

  Random has a big goofy smile that he can’t control.

  “Don’t have sex with her,” Sharp says. “She’s poison.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  Random doesn’t take his prisoner to jail, but to church. There is a new sign out front:

  EJACULATION CHURCH

  “What is this?” Sharp asks.

  “It’s where the girls have to do their community service,” Random says.

  “It’s a whore house!” Sharp cries as she sees the Telosian women in the doorway. “She turned the church into a damn whore house!”

  “All buildings on this side of town have become whore houses,” Random says. “The inn, the general store, the schoolhouse, the barbershop. She wants the town to revolve around sex.”

  “Where is she?” Sharp asks. “I want to talk to her.”

  Random drops off the scared television girl into the hands of older experienced prostitutes who wrap their arms around her, static sparks when they touch their screens together.

  “She’s busy right now,” Random says. “But you can see her later.”

  “She’s got a lot of explaining to do,” Sharp says.

  Random isn’t listening to her. He has a bulge in his pants and can’t take his eyes off of a particularly busty Telosian women’s cleavage.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Sharp goes to the inn, another whorehouse, and gets some sleep in an empty bedroom full of lingering sex-smells.

  She wakes and returns to the ejaculation church.

  It is like an orgy in the streets. There is sex scattered across the porches, dangling out of windows, piled on the side of the road. All of the regular townsfolk have been transformed into prostitutes and horny television-headed men with soft-core porn films for faces.

  “She’s not here,” Random says, his voice calm and stern. He’s recently lost his virginity to one of the television whores. “You’ll have to come back another time.”

  Sharp waits for awhile, but Cry doesn’t show up. She gets hungry and goes into Jesus’ side of town, to the saloon. After an hour of waiting around, she realizes that she’s not going to get any food. They don’t even seem to have food here. None of the Telosians are eating. The kitchen is just a sink of water for washing glasses.

  She watches Jesus in a rocking chair, drinking from a bottle of whiskey and shooting through the saloon window at the local townspeople walking by. There are a few corpses in the street, but most of his victims were only shot in the arms or legs.

  He’s using the furry gun that Battle Johnny had found. It shoots silently like arrows.

  “Can you believe it?” waving his gun at the crowd. “I’ve been firing for hours and it’s still not empty. Unlimited bullets!”

  Their television shows flicker at him.

  Nixx enters the saloon and sits next to Sharp.

  “Can you believe them?” he asks her. “Splitting up the town like this . . .”

  “They treat them like animals,” Sharp says. “Something’s terribly wrong with those two,” Nixx says.

  They pause as a Telosian man vomits liquid television shows out of his screen. It is some kind of futuristic cop show, which continues on the sparkly pool of vomit by his feet.

  “Have you found any food?” Sharps asks.

  “No,” Nixx says. “I’ve been too nervous to eat.”

  “There isn’t any food anywhere,” she says. “I don’t think these people eat like we do.”

  “We’ll have to eat out of your food-skins,” he says.

  Sharp makes a squinty face at Jesus. He is scratching his crotch with the furry gun.

  She sighs. “If the creatures attack us tonight we’re dead for sure.”

  “We migh
t want to forget about the others,” Nixx says. “We’ll have to figure something out on our own.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Nixx and Sharp searching for a safehouse:

  “The jail and the bank are probably our best bets,” Nixx says.

  Sharp licks dust from her glasses. “But the other towns had banks and jailhouses yet nobody survived.”

  “They were also caught by surprise,” Nixx says.

  Cry is outside of the jailhouse, leaning against the door like she owns the place. She wears a crab on her head as a cowboy hat. The crab legs dangling down the side of her face like locks of hair.

  “Come to be deputized?” she asks with a big black smile.

  “No,” Nixx says.

  She frowns at him.

  “We think those creatures might be back tonight,” Sharp says.

  “I told you,” Cry says. “We’re safe in Telos.”

  “How can you be sure?” Nixx asks.

  “I have seen it in my cum,” she says. “The black goblins never make it this far.” “We’re going to play it safe,” Nixx says. “Can we reinforce one of the prison cells?” Sharp asks. “So we can have a safe place to retreat just in case they come back?”

  “I need the cells for prisoners,” Cry says. “You’re not allowed in them- unless you want to become my prisoners?”

  Cry raises an eyebrow at them.

  “Let’s go,” Nixx says, turning his back.

  Sharp catches Cry sticking her long lizard tongue out at Nixx like a pissy four-year-old.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Random is fucking a Telosian whore again. The same one he lost his virginity to earlier in the day.

  She is on top of him, holding his wrists down on the bed. Even though they don’t know how to communicate with each other, she can tell he is very new to sex. And she seems to be turned on by his innocence.

  Cry hand-picked this whore for Random. She must have known this one likes to corrupt the innocent.

  Her face is playing a show called “The Greatest American Hero.” There is a man in red pajamas flying very poorly through the air and crashing into buildings. But Random doesn’t care about the show. He likes watching the woman’s pointy breasts bobbing up and down as she pumps into him.

  When she climaxes she jerks her body at him and slams his face into her glass screen. Random’s nose bursts into a bloody mess. He feels warm fluid dribbling onto his lips.

  The Telosian woman continues to fuck Random, very slowly, blood on her face. She leans closer to him, as if staring into his eyes. The television show goes to mute and changes to a soap commercial. His orgasm oozes out as a static tongue stretches out of her television and licks his blood off of her screen. She leans in and licks the blood from his lips, then sticks her television tongue into his mouth.

  Random can feel the soap commercial inside of him. The woman on the screen is caressing her silky smooth leg as it slides down his throat.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Sharp and Nixx go to the bank. It is on Cry’s side of town but has yet to be turned into a whorehouse. There are a few yellow-stained mattresses on the floor so surely they have plans for its future. Other than that the place is empty.

  “This won’t work,” Sharp says. “The walls aren’t thick enough.”

  “I’m hoping the vault will work,” Nixx says.

  “Some of these small town banks don’t have vaults,” Sharp says. “They probably just have a big safe.”

  Behind the counter there is a big black safe.

  “See,” Sharp says.

  Nixx enters the backroom. A record office. There is a dead Telosian on the floor. His neck broken.

  “It must be easy to break their necks with all that weight on their heads,” Sharp says.

  Nixx finds another door. “Over here.”

  Sharp rubs her hand across the Telosian’s blank screen and static crackles between her fingers.

  There is a vault beyond the door. It has been emptied recently. Probably by Jesus Christ and his gang of horror movie thugs.

  “Will it work?” Sharp asks.

  “It’s better than nothing,” Nixx says. “Let’s fill this up with supplies now so it’ll be ready for tonight.”

  “I’ll make some beds for us in here,” Sharp says. “We can make it our home.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Oxy gets married to his Telosian woman in the saloon.

  He doesn’t wear a suit. He is shirtless and has a television painted on his belly with a wrestler flexing his muscles on the screen.

  Jesus Christ is drunk enough to give the ceremony but most of his words are mumbled. The only words Oxy can somewhat make out are “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

  Oxy doesn’t seem to care what the Telosian woman has to say about all this. He can’t understand her anyway. She is still tied up and he doesn’t have plans to untie her anytime soon.

  His large hairy breasts bulge against hers as he kisses the bride’s reality TV show.

  CHAPTER NINE

  By nightfall, after Nixx and Sharp are safely locked away in the town’s vault, an enormous party forms.

  There has been a bit of partying going on all day long, especially on Death’s side of town, but now that the sun has gone down it is time to get serious.

  Actually, there are two separate parties happening. One on Jesus Christ’s side and one on Cry’s side.

  The party on Death’s side is very violent. There are fights breaking out constantly. So many that you can’t tell who is fighting who. It is like a bar room brawl has stretched out of the bar and enveloped the entire neighborhood.

  Cry’s side of town, the party looks very similar. But instead of fighting, everyone is having sex. It is like an orgy has stretched outside of the whorehouse and enveloped the entire neighborhood.

  Random is a bit overwhelmed by it all and has to take a step back from all the fighting and fucking. He climbs a ladder and watches the chaos from on top of the jailhouse.

  He can see the whole town from up there. He can see both Death and Sex on their opposite sides of town. The parties revolve around each of them like hurricanes. The closer the partiers are to the eye of Jesus’ party, the more violent they become. In the outskirts of his party, people are just gently shoving each other and laughing. Near the core of his party, people are stabbing and shooting each other. And Death Himself obliterates anybody who gets within arms reach.

  In the outskirts of Cry’s party, everyone is kissing and flirting. But near the center, it is all hardcore extreme sex. Bondage, rape, shitting, double-anal. Sex Herself is surrounded by six guys and six girls, and is somehow able to pleasure all twelve of them with her body at the same time.

  Random doesn’t see Cry and Death as traveling companions anymore. He sees them as gods.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Nixx and Sharp can hear the party from inside the vault but aren’t sure what is going on.

  “They could be getting ripped apart by the demons for all we know,” Nixx says.

  Sharp nods and rests her head on his naked thigh.

  “I’ve never had it like that before,” she says, closing her eyes.

  “Me . . . neither,” Nixx says.

  His eyebrows have been frozen in a high-stretched position for at least ten minutes.

  “I mean, Battle Johnny was all man on the outside, but in his pants he was mostly woman. His penis . . . it never really worked. When we made love, it was my dick that would fuck his vagina. Nobody’s ever fucked my vagina until now.”

  She rubs her cheek against his penis and says, “It was nice.”

  Nixx cringes.

  He doesn’t know why he made love to her. She started crying against him and he wanted to shut her up. He didn’t realize he was going to end up naked with her.

  His nerves have tightened up his muscles as his thoughts scurry in his head. He wonders if screwing a hermaphrodite makes him gay. He sure feels gay, because he kind of enjoyed it while it was happenin
g. But, now that it’s over, the image of her jerking off as he fucked her is lingering. What seemed kinky and exciting before now seems disturbing and wrong.

  He’s wondering if it’s not that he has a problem with the fact that he’s made love to a hermaphrodite, or if he has a problem with fact that he took advantage of an emotionally wrecked hermaphrodite whose lover recently died a violent death in her arms.

  Really, the biggest problem he’s having is why he got so incredibly horny out of nowhere. It was like an extremely potent aphrodisiac was running through his blood.

  At least her penis and her vagina are lined up perfectly with her belly button. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if she was born with sloppily placed genitalia. He had to dump his first girlfriend because one of her nipples was half an inch higher on the breast than the other, and he just couldn’t handle that.

  His muscles begin to relax once he hears Sharp snoring. He lies back on the crusty old mattress, leaving Sharp’s head where it is on his thigh.

  He’d rather not wake her.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The parties have grown so strong that they merge into one organism.

  Cry and Jesus move closer together to investigate each other’s parties. They scowl at one another from the distance. Cry thinks he is wasting his Telosians when they could be having sex, and Jesus thinks she is wasting her Telosians when they could be getting killed.

  They come face to face on the line that separates the two sides of town.

  “One of us has to go,” Death says.